This Post is from a friend who had struggled with porn and porn addiction. He wrote this will reflecting on his life as an addict. He shares that his life was ruined by using porn. He needed Jesus to ride in and dramatically transform his life.
If you want to read more of his story you can check it out here
Desperado You rode into the chaos and the mess of my life. I was unable to rescue myself. I was surrounded by marauders who were raiding my soul. I had allowed them in drinking their wine and believing their lies.
Their guns were drawn and their knives to my throat. My soul wounded and my affections chained. I needed a hero. I neither had the will or the ability to cry to You.
I had thought I was to far gone. Death was my final reward. And then the first shot was fired. One marauder dropped and then another. Silence. The raging flood of images and temptation silenced. I could breath. I could think.
Then the damn broke. All the poison spilled out of my soul. I weeped terrible bitter tears. I was a mess. Dirty. Used. Broken. Consumed. Naked. Afraid. Love had long left me. How could You, dear precious Lord, possibly love a wretch like me?
I had tasted your goodness when I was young. You had spoken to my heart and made me alive. Once You and I walked so closely. But I turned away. For what? I walked away to dance with finely clothed sirens. Marauders who I allowed to take the best of me. I willing gave them the best of me! How could you still love me?
I wept. I wept until I couldn’t breath. With every tear I confessed to You my sins. No compromise, no rationalization, no negotiations – I was broken.
Your hand reached down to me. Eye to eye You and me. Your stare communicated such love. No longer had your rod and staff comforted me but now Love was rescuing me. I felt your scares – “those are still for you,” You said.
“Can you forgive me?”
“I already have.”
“Hold me, Jesus.”
And You did. You held my heart, forgave my sins and then began to heal my wounds.
Redemption: the redux!